Gideon

written by Deborah Oakley

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I’m in a situation now I don’t like at all.  I’ve been mad at God because of it, and changing my attitude has been a real struggle.  My Zombie has used this opportunity to escape her coffin and wreak havoc in my inner house.  (If you don’t know who I’m referring to, read Dismantled.)  Sometimes I can shut her down by replacing her lies with Truth.  But sometimes I don’t know the answers to my questions, and letting her get those particular questions in her teeth is a bad idea.  She likes to run with that sort of thing.  “It’s not fair.  Why?  I demand answers!”  This is one of those times.

“Be quiet!  Ask Job how it worked for him when he got all bad attitude with God.  Don’t credit her remarks to me, God.  She doesn’t get a vote.  In fact, I could use Your help getting her back in her coffin, if You don’t mind.”

I’ve been playing this song over and over recently.  These lyrics are about putting everyone in their proper places.  They have nothing to do with questions or answers.

My Zombie yells, “This isn’t fair!”  I whop her with a rock.  “You’re the God and I’m the man.”

She screeches, “I demand answers!”  I klunk her in the head with another boulder.  “I tune my ear to Your command.”

She tries to list give her littany of abuses she says we’ve suffered.  I respond, “I’m not listening to you.  Say-ahm-bah-ay-ahm-bah-ay-ah …”  (That’s way more fun than la-la-la-la.)

Please don’t be dismayed by the violence directed at her.  She’s already dead.  She was born that way.  Her dead carcass is NOT going to be the boss of me.

So, have I been making any progress?  Yes.  It’s been slow, but it’s working.  I’m not all “Yay God” yet, but I’m finally to the point where I’m willing to let go of my anger.  He’s going to have to help me actually get it out of my hand, but at least I no longer have my fist clenched around it.  I’m holding my hand out to Him, and I’m willing to let it go.  Trust me, that’s progress!

Gideon – Jason Upton

Next Series Post:  The Eleventh Hour